Audiobooks 111

got a lot of audiobooks catch up on. we'll make this fast. ^_^

For the Win
Cory Doctorow

This book was unusual. Lots of third-degree language, and for that I don't recommend it. But an interesting premise - that much is worth looking up.

And an epic cover.

Lord of the Flies
William Golding

My favorite book. Ever. The jury is in; the die are cast. I have concluded.

I read it via audiobook for the second time, and my love for it expounded.

It's rather dark, and sort of morbid, and sort of sad. It explores the question of what would happen if a group of boys were stranded alone on an island. The war between order and chaos is epic and terrible.

Recommended, personally. ^_^






Peter Pan in Scarlet
Geraldine McCaughrean

Kind of a weird book. o_O For instance, through magic, a grown man turns into a little girl for a while. >_> Odd. Peter Pan himself is rather obnoxious and not so heroic as in the Ridley Pearson series. XD heh. So, I didn't like this so much. But there's a pretty nice, nostalgic quote, if you care to read it:

Next day, Mrs. Wendy's cold kept her from going out, but the Old Boys found themselves in Kensington Gardens with butterfly nets, wandering up and down. Looking for fairies.

There was a stiff breeze blowing. Something white and fluffy brushed Mr. Nibs's face and he gave a shriek. "There's one! It kissed me!" And all the gentlemen went pounding after it. The wind was rising. Other scraps of whiteness scudded past, until the air seemed to be full of flying snowflakes all twirling and dancing, feathery light. The Old Boys trampled the grass flat with running to and fro, swiping at fairies, accidentally swatting each other, whooping and shrieking, "Got one!"

"So have -- OW!"

"Here's one, look!"

But when they peered into their butterfly nets, all they found were the fluffy seed-heads off summer's first dandelions. There was not a single fairy in among the dande-down.

All day they searched. As the sun went down and starlings gathered over the glimmering city, the Old Boys hid themselves among the bushes of Kensington Gardens. Early stars ventured into the sky, their reflections spangling the Serpentine. And suddenly the air was a-flicker with wings!

Jubilant, the ambushers leapt out of hiding and ran to and fro, nets flailing.

"Got one!"

"By Jove!"

"Don't hurt them!"

"Ouch! Watch what you are doing, sir!"

"I say! This is ripping fun!"

But when they turned the nets inside out, what did they find? Midges and moths and mayflies.

"I have one in here! Definitely! Incontrovertibly!" cried Mr. John, cramming his bowler hat back onto his head to trap the captive inside. The others gathered round, jostling to see. The hat came off again, with a sigh of suction; Mr. John reached in with finger and thumb, plucked something out of the satin lining, and held it up to show them -- the iridescent purple, the shiny, flexing, turquoise body...

Only a dragonfly.

Mr. John opened his fingertips, and eight pairs of disappointed eyes followed the lovely creature as it staggered and waltzed back towards the water.

"I don't believe there is a single fairy..." began Dr. Curly, but the others felled him to the ground and clapped their hands over his mouth.

"Don't say it! Don't ever say that!" cried Mr. Nibs, horrified. "Don't you remember? Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies, a fairy somewhere dies!"

"I didn't say I didn't believe in them!" said the doctor, tugging the rumples out of his suit. "I was only going to say, I don't believe there is one single fairy here. Tonight. In this park. I have mud on my trousers, insect bites on my ankles, and I have not eaten supper yet. Can we give up now?"

The other Old Boys looked around them at the twilit park, the distant, glimmering streetlamps. They looked at the soles of their shoes, in case they had trodden on any fairies by mistake. They looked into the water of the Serpentine, in case any of the stars reflected there were really fairies, swimming. No fairies, no fairy dust. Perhaps, after all, they would not be going back to Neverland.

- Peter Pan in Scarlet

All in all, don't really recommend it, I suppose. But I love that quote. ^_^

I Am Morgan le Fay
Nancy Springer

A forgettable story. Turns into a romance. Magic and whatnot; kind of boring, I think. A testimony to its forgetable-ness: I don't remember anything more. Not recommended. I doubt it's worth your time.

The Outsiders

S. E. Hinton

Sad, but good. I enjoyed this book a lot. And one character, Soda, has an awesome name and is a great character. The book provides a good and clean perspective behind the street life of decades ago. Get your boys together; get ready for a rumble. Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold. ^_^

Recommended.

Lady Macbeth

Susan Fraser King

I was all excited about this one (I like Macbeth, and this tale is the backstory of his wife) but hardly got through the first fifteen minutes. Madness and immorality. Not recommended, indeed.

The Beloved Dearly

Doug Cooney

Cute story about a group of entrepenuaral kids who start their own business: pet funerals. Recommended.

Sapphique

Catherine Fisher

Awesome book. One or two second-degree swear words, but no immorality. Steampunk. It's the second book in a series, but I didn't know it, and I liked reading this one first. I liked being dropped into the middle of the story, and figuring out who was who and what was going on. Epic adventure, and I liked it better than book 1. Only qualm were the swear words and that I didn't entirely like the ending. >_>

Recommended.

Incarceron

Catherine Fisher

^See Sappique. Good but not quite as much, I thought. This was a bit more cliche and had a bit more objectionable content. Still a good steampunk tale.

Cave of the Dark Wind

Dave Barry

Very cliche, very wholesome Peter Pan adventure. A short sort of cheering read but quite predictable.

My Brother Sam Is Dead

James Lincoln Collier

A sad book. Let's just say things weren't looking good for poor Sam. ^_^ I think this book is a classic; it was sort-of forgettable, and, as aforementioned, sad. Raised an interesting ethical dilemma or two. Not particularly recommended.

Sherlock Holmes

Arthur Conan Doyle

I read a few of the famous Sherlock Holmes short stories. They were good! Quite clean, a bit dark, fairly epic, and entertaining. Good solid mysteries; recommended.

The Kingdom Keepers

Ridley Pearson

The first one was good; it has an interesting premise: five kids are teleported each night to Disneyland after dark, when the machines are starting to come alive. I liked the first one all right, but then it became a series and became, methought, cliche and unrealistic, and I lost interest. *shrug* First one mildly recommended.

The Iliad/The Odyssey

Homer

I liked these. Quite gruesome, though. >_> The author has no hesitancy in describing exactly how a warrior was impaled and how he falls to the ground, gasping and bleeding out and dying. Ahem. A half-dozen times.

I spent most of the books trying to figure out who was the son of whom and fighting for which army (probably would have understood it better if I'd read them in book form). There's some immorality referenced, and most characters are supreme idiots, but it was good to get this taste of very-old literature; of the true, original epic warfare. Rather interesting, too, and rarely boring. Recommended for older readers.

- - -

in order of favorite-ness:

1. Lord of the Flies

2. Sapphique

3. The Outsiders

4. Incarceron

5. The Iliad/Odyssey

6. Sherlock Holmes

7. The Dearly Beloved

8. The Kingdom Keepers

9. For the Win

10. Peter Pan In Scarlet

11. My Brother Sam is Dead

12. Cave of the Dark Wind

13. I Am Morgan le Fay

14. Lady Macbeth

^ read any of these? Thoughts, opinions, arguments?

thanks for reading,

happy eucalyptus day,

-whisper

the many perils of being a bookworm

Courtesy of Noelle

Amish Vampiress of the Tribulation

"That’s right. It’s an Amish novel; it’s a vampire novel; it’s an end-times novel. It’s the best of all worlds."

I'm ROTALing over here. This is quite possibly among the top three funniest things I've ever read.

"Twenty-three year old Cassidy lives a simple life in the Amish countryside of Lancaster County. Simple, that is, until Slade Byler moves into the old Lapp farm. Cassidy finds herself irresistibly drawn to the handsome Slade; but she fears to share the secret that she alone knows. For Cassidy is an immortal, a princess in the long line of ancient Amish vampires. Will Slade’s love grow cold when he learns this great secret? Can she give to him a heart that does not beat?"

Click below. Read the rest. Laugh. Hard.

Cassidy: Amish Vampiress of the Tribulation

Rolling On Thin Air Laughing,
-whisper


p.s. of course, no offense and/or insult intended to anyone Amish. ^_^ I (and the article) are poking fun at Christians and their literature in general.

8 Everythings

Greetings and salutations!

I have been largely absent from the online world. I have many excuses, none of which you'd like to hear, and all of which matter to me but not to you. So. Here comes a highly condensed account of some Lately-Things, concerning, respectively, a blog, a job, Eagles Wings, Apprentice, mornings, story titles, Jabberwocky, and an anonymous quote. Good stuff.

- - -

1. My sister has a blog. I've already mentioned the blog of Hark, but now my other sister, The Golux (alias Fountain, alias the wearer of the Indescribable Hat) has one of her own, as well! Entitled "The Simple Tales of Fountain", you can find it by clicking the screenshot below.



2. My Dad got a job. Huzzah! As you can read in this post, my Dad recently left his job as a pastor for complicated reasons. But a few weeks ago, he got a new, different sort of job, which, except for the fact that it pays less, is better in every way: Dad gets to work predominately from home, it's a Christian-run company and, ironically, there are a lot of other ex-pastors there. o_O Conspiracy. Anyhow, thank you so much for any and all prayers you submitted to the King concerning this matter - He heard and met them wondrously. :)


3. In a few days.... I'm going to meet Eagles Wings. O_O Elves, you know who this is. You know of Eagles Wings, the mighty, the brave, the cheerful. I and Rowan are going to meet her together for an afternoon. XD Huzzah! I'd offer to show pictures, but I don't want to compromise any of our secret identities. ^_^


4. My pet story, (working title) Apprentice, (you can find some info on it here) has gone through much, much, much rewriting. Between drafts one and three, I doubled the characters and quadrupled the word count. ^_^ I have no idea how much longer it will take me to complete the story. But at least I'm starting to think about beta readers. o_O Anyhow, Apprentice keeps me happy and gobbles up my time. I'm going to try to compose a nice "back-cover blurb" description thingy so I can explain what in the seven stars is it about, both to the mighty readers of this humble blog and to anyone (friend, foe, or family member) who inquires.


5. This is how I feel.

Every morning.

Just thought I'd share.










6. Concerning story titles. I leave you three to consider.

A. The Can Go Bang.
B. Revenge of the Plot Bunnies
C. The Legend of Aunt Sylvia

^ I want to write those stories one day, and many more.

If you think you've missed something, don't worry, you haven't. :| For some reason I felt I ought to disclose these deep and bizzarre inclinations to you. Thank you for bearing with me in my hour of great need; I hope we understand each other.


7. According to legend (aka, in this instance, Leighton) there might be a Jabberwocky video game coming out at some point. o_O The truth of this matter is unverified, but there's still a cool trailer to be watched. ---> http://vz3.blur.com/work/detail/jabberwocky#movies/1

note the vorpral sword. ^_^

8. I'll leave you with a thought-provoking thought; an anonymous quote of great and profound meaning:

"Time flies like the wind.
Fruit flies like bananas."

- - -

Miscellaneous,
-whisper

"Now the towers are gone."

Of course, you all know that something unspeakably terrible happened on this day at this minute ten years ago.

9/11.
the world trade center.
a day of madness.

But in 1974, in that same place, something beautiful happened.

French tightrope walker Philippe Petit strung a cable between the two half-constructed towers and made a glorious walk between them. For forty-five minutes, he ran, danced, jumped, laid down, and gave knee salutes on a wire one thousand, three hundred, fifty feet above the ground.

I read a book on it - a children's book called The Man Who Walked Between the Towers.



It is my favorite children's book.

It tells a beautiful story. The pictures, and the very concept of being so entirely in the air, so isolated with the light rain and the wind and the sky and the city so infinitely far below... it's beautiful. It electrifies my mind in Owl-City-ish ways. It's just glorious.

To my dismay, as I researched this possible-new-hero, Philippe, I found that he was, of course, not perfect. He had (has; for he lives still) issues with immorality and narcissism (and obeying authority >_>). Nonetheless, his walk between the two unformed towers was courageous, and it is to me very beautiful.

Philippe was arrested for his stunt. Secluded from the astonished press, while cuffed to a chair in a police station, Philippe kept himself occupied by picking his handcuffs with a paper clip and balancing an officer's hat on his nose. Such classic mischief. :) He was later given the grave sentence of performing for children in a park.

Although the actual walk between the towers was not captured clearly on video, several pictures were taken. Good ones are in the news report below, as well as footage of his post-arrest stunt with the hat.

See the report to the confused and smiling world.

Philippe was not perfect, and his stunt was not exactly wise. But his walk between the fated towers made beautiful a place that, decades later, would be a scene of terror and chaos.

Go check out the book from your library - The Man Who Walked Between the Towers - and spend a few moments reflecting on the quiet awe of standing on an inch of steel, in the air atop the world, entirely alone and untouchable.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Now the towers are gone."



"But in memory, as if imprinted on the sky, the towers are still there. And part of that memory is the joyful morning, August 7, 1974, when Philippe Petit walked between them in the air."

The Dragon's Tooth -or- N. D. Wilson Writes Again -or- Welcome to Ashtown

I couldn't decide on a fitting title for this post. I answered the dilemma of choice in my typical fashion - choosing 'em all.

But enough of that. Have you heard of the 100 Cupboards Trilogy?

They are worthy of all ranting. I should have done this long ago! I should have hollered their praises and pounded my fist upon their blessed pages and shouted down your ear about them! (metaphorically speaking, of course; as I am far too polite an individual to really shout in your ear. Unless its about something important. Like Twix candy bars. Or this series.)

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqDtmwprjW49RLLYUxkeTCXuRM18VPLHBLE5sQWxxpsHOcMzRxNnogM6zoIq-UxRfZBB1BPVNflzlHJEp2fdcO2J3_lJtVCAK_XhLWCG12fvDNH1MtlsqLs8jxKIT_BviuNYbCJaBlIc3d/s1600/100+cupboards+trilogy.JPG

These books are... Epic. Stunning. Amazing.

Fantastic in every sense of the word.

The 100 Cupboards trilogy is one of my favorite favoritefuls series (you know it's good if it includes a book called Dandelion Fire); third only to the Wingfeather Saga and the Chronicles of Narnia. And, happily, they're rather clean; there were a few minor weirdnesses and perhaps two or three swear words throughout the trilogy, but aside from that I they were clean, like so many bars of soap. Personally, methought that the series' goods far outweighed the bads.

They tell the story of a kid named Henry who wakes up one night because plaster has fallen on his head. He looks up and sees two door knobs poking out of his bedroom wall. After chipping away all the plaster, he finds behind his wall 99 cupboards of varying shape, size, and color. Inside one door he can smell wood and rain and when he sticks his hand through he feels moss and worms. Through the glass door of another, he can see a yellow post office (and starts receiving some very odd letters). And then there's the cold, sucking black door that hides nightmarish creatures. And the ship... and the haunted ballroom... *shivers with delight* Fantastic books about Henry's exploration of the cupboard worlds and his war against the evils of Endor.

The books have an amazing premise, and they succeed where so many promising books fail: they actually execute the idea well. A revolutionary concept, I know. >_> The author, N. D. Wilson, is brilliant - he is a master of description and character and worldbuilding.

As if all this isn't incentive enough to read it, rumor has it that the movie is coming out sometime this year. And don't you just love that wise feeling you experience when a new movie is coming out and all your friends are talking about it and trying to describe it to you but you can cut them off smugly and say, "Oh, I already know what it's about. I read the book." *smirk* Heehee. I savor the satisfaction of knowing everything about a movie before everyone else does. Ah, the bookish joys of being the one to explain the Eragon and the I Am Number Four and The Series of Unfortunate Events trailers to one's bewildered and excited acquaintances! (Come to think of it, I never saw any of those movies. o.o I heard they were all lame. And for the record, so far as my humble opinion goes, I Am Number Four is a profoundly dumb book.)

SO. With that established. Hop on your bike right now and pedal like mad to the library and snatch 100 Cupboards off the shelf (it is adviseable to bowl over any kids in your way in the process, but you didn't hear it from me). Stuff it furtively in your book bag and flee for your life with it! (checking it out is optional.)

No! Wait! Stop! Halt! Desist! Hold everything! Before you do that, we must come back to the original point of this point:

The Dragon Tooth.

N. D. Wilson writes again.

Welcome to Ashtown.

As you may have guessed and/or heard by now, Wilson is starting a new series, the first book of which is coming out August 23rd - in 14.0002 days. The series is called The Ashtown Burials, and book one is The Dragon Tooth.

Best of all, there is a trailer - a book trailer - a professional trailer - an epic trailer - a trailer that makes me shiver with delight every time I watch it.

Watch. You must.

http://vimeo.com/27156974 <- I can't get the video window to show up here, so just follow the link. And if this link is acting weird, as it did for me...

http://www.hornspoon.com/2011/08/dragons-tooth-book-trailer.html <- ... then try this one, linking to the blog of my noble friend Cson. The video is in his post.


Welcome to Ashtown,
-whisper

Audiobooks 2

Heyyy! *jaunty wave* This spy has been scarce in the online world these past few days, due to a very intense and time-consuming project, namely the making of a short film that involves lots and lots of editing (ie, more than 10 hours. >_> Not to mention filming). Fun. But busymaking. Because it was for a film contest. And it had been going on for two months. But I only came up with an idea three days ago. And we had three days to do it. And I was working up 'till the last few hours of it. XD And we turned it in with an hour and twenty minutes to spare. :D That's what I call living summer on the edge.

Anyhow, on to business. I present to you an audiobook post!

For those among you who do not know, I have developed a habit of listening to audiobooks whilst executing my job: shelving books at my local library. Multitasking, you see. I am an avid multitasker.

In a previous post, I reviewed the audiotales I had recently heard. I do the same again. And once more, I have not one, not three, but

5

audiobooks to report.

Without further ado,

- - -

Animal Farm
George Orwell

I liked this book. I liked it much. It was a short and swiftly-paced story of a group of farm animals who overthrow their human masters and establish a government of their own.

The story is a simplified allegory of the Russian Revolution (and it can be applied to virutally any of the world's tyrannies), and so if you're a history nerd like me, you'll especially enjoy it. Even if you're not, it's still a good story. The animal farm is erected on the cheerful motto "All animals are equal," but subtly - oh, so subtly to the unsuspecting horses and chicken and sheep! - the pigs come to unjust power.

Read in dismay as the animals' slogan, "All animals are equal" is, over time, mysteriously replaced with the enigmatic and grim philosophy: "All animals are equal, only some animals are more equal than others."

Clean, short, excellent. High recommend.



Peter and the Starcatchers
Dave Barry

Peter and the Starcatchers is actually Book 1 of a four-book series chronicling the story before the story - explaining how Peter Pan came to be on the island of Neverland, how he could fly, how he lost his shadow, how Tinkerbell came into being, and other wonders. I liked this > the first one, best; afterwards they started to feel a bit more cliche and same-ish. Happily, the entire series was quite clean and appropriate for all ages. The author was very creative in inventing the backstory to the original Peter Pan story. Read this if you want an exciting, innocent story reveling in the classic villainousness of Captain Hook and the daring childishness of Peter Pan.

Cliche, lighthearted, classic. Mildly recommended.



1984
George Orwell

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

Thus goes the misleading first line of the odd book 1984. I say that the line is misleading because it indicates an Alice-In-Wonderland-esqe, whimsical kind of story.

It is not so.

Much graver than Animal Farm (by the same author), it also presents, similarly, a political analogy. 1984 was written in 1948, and Orwell was predicting the future. He portrayed a bleak Communist world, all gray and brainwashed, peppered with security cameras everywhere that see all; inescapable propaganda; enthusiastic efforts to simplify and de-emotionalize language; thoughtcrime; doublethink; and Five-Minute Hates. While well written, I don't recommend it - for one matter, there's the protagonist's graphic adulterous affair. >_>

It's an eerie story that ends nontraditionally. It's a story of brainwashing, liberty, invasions, betrayal, and mistrust. It presented interesting philosophical questions. If I may trouble you with a thought-provoking quote, exemplifying the brain-washing philosophy of that era:

"Anything could be true. The so-called laws of Nature were nonsense. The law of gravity was nonsense. 'If I wished,' O'Brien had said, 'I could float off this floor like a soap bubble.' Winston worked it out. 'If he thinks he floats off the floor, and if I simultaneously think I see him do it, then the thing happens.' Suddenly, like a lump of submerged wreckage breaking the surface of water, the thought burst into his mind: 'It doesn't really happen. We imagine it. It is hallucination.' He pushed the thought under instantly. The fallacy was obvious. It presupposed that somewhere or other, outside oneself, there was a 'real' world where 'real' things happened. But how could there be such a world? What knowledge have we of anything, save through our own minds? All happenings are in the mind. Whatever happens in all minds, truly happens."

Grim, political, dystopian. Not recommended because of immorality.



The Good Thief
Hannah Tinti

This is a Dickenesque tale of an orphaned kid, but there's a significant difference between this orphan and most - he's missing a hand, and has no idea why. Fairly intriguing premise, so I tried it.

Rather a waste of my time, I think. The long plot rambled as the kid followed in the footsteps of theives and drunkards and impersonaters and grave robbers and hoodlums, eventually coming to a weird climax involving a murderous corrupt wealthy factory owner. >_> Didn't see that coming. Combined with some unpleasant weirdnesses, it was not worth the read.

Wandering, depressing, bland. I don't recommend it.



Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
James Patterson

Enter Max, leader of her 'family' of six. They are brothers and sisters not by blood, but by friendship and common plight: all are escapees from a pack of vicious scientists who want them back. Because these kids are not ordinary. They're 98% human and 2% bird - and they have wings.

Rather cool premise, no? And it did prove to be respectably cool. An amusing 1rst person narration from the view of the sarcastic Max kept even the slow points entertaining. Often the narration sits on the knife edge between being hilarious and being cliche-corny. XD Pretty long tale, a bit rambling-feeling atimes. As I recall, it was clean... I cannot remember if there were swear words or not. If there were, they were few and mild.

This is book one of a series. I haven't read the following ones; while the first was enjoyable, I don't yet feel terribly inclined to read the others.

Exciting, action-ous, cool. Recommended, I suppose.

- - -

In order from most favorite to least, I hereby order this batch of books:

1. Animal Farm
2. Peter and the Starcatchers
3. Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
4. 1984
5. The Good Thief

Have you read any of these books? And if so, do you concur or disagree with my review of them?

Hoping for a book-chat,
And to all a good night,
-whisper

The House of Shelves

There is a house in Japan.

And it is a house of shelves.

AND I WANT IT.

I read an article about an absolutely glorious structure comprised entirely of shelves. Thousands and thousands of wooden nooks to be filled with everything under the sun! It's... breathtaking in possibilities... gloriously wonderful.



The house of shelves.
^ more pictures!

The house of shelves II
^even MORE joysome pictures!


It's beautiful.

dying of envy,
- whisper

Giveaway - Beyond the Dead Forest

The honorable book reviewer Michelle Archer is hosting a giveaway! On her blog Arrowhead Reviews she's offering a copy of the book Beyond the Dead Forest, by Steve Groll. The entry deadline has been extended until July 16.

giveaway

From the review Michelle gave of it, it sounds like quite an intriguing tale. The basic premise:

Partners looking for adventure, that is what Kat and Carter’s relationship is like. When a mysterious forest shows up that only they can see, they know a real adventure just might have arrived. On one of their excursions to learn what lies within the woods they meet a man who will send them on a mission that might kill them. But if they survive the challenges the Dead Forest has for them they will end up with some of the greatest treasures known to man.

Good stuff, right? Add to that that she compares it to a cross between The Phantom Tollbooth and The Pilgrim's Progress, and it sounds like quite the book. o_O

Go! Join!

Oh. And note the creepy red dragon on the book's cover. ^_^ Epic.

Wyrmlings,
-whisper

Larklight

Larklight
Philip Reeve

The extended, official title is: Larklight, or, The Revenge of the White Spiders, or, To Saturn's Rings and Back: A Rousing Tale of Dauntless Pluck in the Farthest Reaches of Space.

If that doesn't make you want to read it, I don't know what will.

It's quite a good book. Pleasantly thick but with large print and plenty of splendid illustrations, the book reads light and easily. It's steampunk, I believe - if steampunk involves a Victorian society of machinery and gravitational devices and space travel, then yes, this is every inch steampunk. It concerns the lad Arthur (or Art, as he is more commonly called) and his sister Myrtle as their life aboard the elaborate space-orbiting house Larklight is suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a very strange and rather unpleasant visitor. This leads to a series of adventures and daring exploits including (but not limited to) the Potter Moths, the space pirate Jack Havock, aliens, flaming spiders.... etc, etc.

The book was also rather clean.... aside from some words that were (sadly) referenced but (gladly) not spelled out; in other words, the author generally substituted swear words with abbreviated versions composed mostly of "----"s.

The writing style is British and humorous and a bit reminiscent of Lemony Snicket's. The world is well-developed, the characters varied and enjoyable, and the setting fabulous.

Recommended indeed as a fast-paced, entertaining, and cheering tale.

Salutations,
-whisper

Julian Smith

We of the spy clan are fans - ardent fans - of Julian Smith. Doubtless many of you have already discovered this guy on Youtube; he has a large and (in our opinion) vastly entertaining collection of short videos, many of which we know by heart and quote often. And (double brownie points for Julian) he's homeschooled!

With the arrival of summer, the retreat of schoolwork, and the sudden abundance of free time for reading, this one is most particularly fitting. I'm sure many of you can relate to it. It is entitled "I'm Reading a Book."

Enjoy.



If you need a laugh and you have the time (be careful; his videos sucked me in for literally hours) check out some of his other videos. I would in particular recommend "Hot Kool Aid", "Pre-Blessed Food", and "UMove" (it's all I can do to stop myself from piling on more recommendations. I'm getting off now. Quickly. Truly. Now.)

Fan,
-whisper

Summer Flames

She said we could! She said we could!

Mom said yes, so we rush to the fire pit.

Get some sticks! Get the paper! Find a match! Start the blaze!

We dash through feathery young-summer air.

Crumpled newsprint bleeds onto our hands

Three tiny matches gown the wads with fire

We cage them in with bark-crusted branches.

A fuzz of smoke curls from our umpteenth fire.

Get the books! Get the books!

We run inside and run back out,

Holding tight the math textbooks.

Squashed between their pages are:

twenty cups' worth of spilled tea,

a slabs' worth of smeared graphite,

and untold gallons of despairing tears.

We gather, panting, round the fire.

Holding Math 5, Algebra 1/2, Geometry, PreCalculus.

Staring at the flames that we have made.

We look at the books, we look at each other.

We picture the million problems inside our Books.

We've cried over, sulked upon, sobbed about, raced through, double-checked and re-corrected

each one.

We want to be rid of them.

Then we think of the ink on those pages

Fattening the hot feather smoke.

We picture each page curling black.

And every lesson crumpling dark.

And every problem eaten and lost forever.

Forever.

Forever is a long time.

We look at the books, we look at the flames.

And we are sad.

And we don't know why.

We kick out the fire. We cool ash with water. The smoke is eaten by summer.

Carrying our books with benevolence,

We take them inside and put them away.

Because we are not book burners,

not even for PreCalculus.

And because summer feels too good for burning.

Audiobooks

I have discovered something wonderful.

Audiobooks.

I learned a few weeks ago that I can simultaneously listen to a story whilst doing my job (shelving books) at the library. Earning money and reading at the same time! Can life get better!?! *dazed expression* The trouble with this voracious feat of multitasking is that it tends to turn my mind to mush after a while. >_> Four solid hours of carrying books and alphabetizing books and sorting books and shelving books and picking up books and thinking about books while listening to a story the entire while can mess with one's mind a bit. But I will triumph! I am a fiercely stubborn multitasker, and I will not desist until my mind is slipping like melted butter from my ears! (I'm sure you're grateful for that lovely visual.)

I have already consumed five books on the job thus far, and they are as follows:



Walk Two Moons
Sharon Creech

I liked this one. It was unusual and a sort of modern-classic. Surprising, funny, sad, and entertaining. It's the story of a girl (with an epic name, "Salamonca Tree Hittle", or "Sal" for short) whose mother has left her family. It's a story of the girl's wanting her back, and the story of her friend Phoebe Winterbottom, and the lunatic, and Sal's grandparents, and... it's hard to explain. It was a good story, well-written, clean, quoteable, full of good morals and interesting thoughts. Recommended.





A Wrinkle In Time
Madeline L'Engle

This is a fantasy story about three children who find three strange, friendly old ladies living in the woods, and that encounter leads to a world-jumping adventure of strangeness. The children battle to save a brainwashed alternate world of rythmn and fact controlled by an evil, mysterious source of blackness. Didn't like this book so very much. Perhaps because it was meant for younger readers... anyhow, I found it to be rather slow and dull. Plus, the protagonist bugged me, and it is difficult to enjoy a tale when you are constantly wanting to give the protagonist a hearty smack.



The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Victor Hugo

Was a whopping 17.5 hours long. *eyes cross* But I made it through. And I really liked it. The book was nothing like the movie (which I've not seen but know enough about); it was instead one of those basically-everyone-dies-at-the-end kind of books. Quite depressing, but I liked it... then again, I have morbid tastes. >_> I'm not quite sure what the moral of the story was meant to be; perhaps "Regardless of who you are and however innocent you are, you're still in danger of getting hanged." Or maybe, "Desert your friends, and you might not get hanged." Or perhaps the ever-encouraging, "If you're guilty, they'll hang you. If you're innocent, they'll probably hang you anyway." Or even the extremely uplifting, "Be a complete jerk and you might not get hanged." It's a very wholesome and inspiring book, as you can see.



Magyk
Angie Sage

I did not enjoy this book, the first installment of the Septimus Heap series. It seemed to be an immense and shameless rip-off of the Harry Potter series (the correlations between the characters, plot, and setting were ridiculously and numerous). Oh, and Harry Potter was not the only book to suffer idea plagiarism; in Magyk there was also a magic ring (conveniently found by someone lost in dark tunnel) as well as a White Witch. :| I jest not.

The book is rather slow-paced; not very exciting or memorable. There were a few redemptive qualities - funny scenes or the occasional worthy line, but all in all I found it rather cliche and dull. Perhaps because, like A Wrinkle in Time, it's meant for younger readers.


The Cricket in Times Square
George Selden

I read this one just today. Unlike Magyk, which was a whopping 13 hours long, this little tale was only about 3. I finished it easily in one work shift. It was cute, more like a short story or a fable than an actual novel, telling of a little cricket from Connecticut who accidently ends up in New York and becomes the pet of a newsboy. Not particularly exciting or fast paced tale, but it's endearing and had a nice little moral.

- - -

And because this post just wouldn't be complete without a list, here is how I rank these five books, from most favorite to least:


1. Walk Two Moons
2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
3. The Cricket of Times Square
4. A Wrinkle in Time
5. Magyk


That's all,
-whisper

Apprentice

There has been a tag going around the blogosphere, and at the risk of boring you, I'm going to participate. Below are 75 Q&As about my current novel, the working title being Apprentice.

- - -

1. What’s your word count?
Currently 'tis about 30,000.

2. How long until you finish?
I haven't the foggiest. >_>

3. If you have finished, how long did it take you?
I have finished draft one, which took me about two years, but it was a very poor first draft. Now I'm doing an intense and massive rewrite.

4. Do you have an outline?
Yes, and I keep revising it as I go along.

5. Do you have a plot?
I'm coming to realize, to my increasing alarm, my demoralizing lack of a sturdy one.

6. How many words do you typically write a day?
None or 2000. There isn't much middle ground. >_>

7. What was your greatest word count in one day?
Good question. (OO)

8. What was your least impressive word count in one day?
Six words.

9. What inspired you to write?
"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad."- Lord Byron. As for what got me started, who knows. What inspired you to start eating?

10. Does your novel/story have a theme song?
Theme song?? I've never considered it before, and quite frankly I imagine that considering the matter would be a stressful procedure that would waste much otherwise good time that could be spent in writing. Just like this tag.

11. Assign each of your major characters a theme song.
I thought this was a book, not a TV show! *glowers at questioner*

12. Which character is most like you?
My protagonist, Heather.

13. Which character would you most likely be friends with?
Misky. Misky Lockwood. Though I'd very much want to befriend Rillan and Falen as well.

14. Do you have a Gary-Stu or Mary Sue character?
Heh, my character Tess borders a bit on that. I'm trying to think up some decent flaw to give her so no one hates her.

15. Who is your favorite character in your novel?
*chews lip thoughtfully* Favorite is probably Misky or Falen. But Crei might be the most interesting.

16. Have your characters ever done something completely unexpected?
Gack, no! (OO) This must be remedied! *makes note*

On further consideration, I remember that a group of characters does something very unexpected, but not enough individuals.

17. Have you based any of your novel directly on personal experiences?
Oh yes. *vigorous nod* *pauses* *considers* *shakes head* Hard to say.

18. Do you believe in plot bunnies?
I not only believe in them, I harbor a horde of them under my bed. They've made an immutable pact with the dust bunnies and live off socks, woodchips, and dead characters.

19. Is there magic in your novel/story?
Not a sparkle.

20. Are any holidays celebrated in your novel/story?
No holidays, but there are bonfire celebrations of victories in battle. XD

21. Does anyone die?
I would go around in public with a pillow over my head if not. I would be a disgrace to the name of writers if not. I would detest myself if not. Good gravy, my story is about a warrior tribe struggling to survive a massive war against brutal monsters. YES PEOPLE DIE.

22. How many cups of coffee/tea have you consumed during your writing experience?
Oh, not much. One or two cups of chai tea, mayhap. I've found that bringing food along with me to the writing desk is one of Procrastination's most subtle and deadly ploys, so I try not to do it too much.

23. What is the latest you have stayed up writing?
Probably 1:00am or so, during the infamous NaNoWriMo.

24. What is the best line?
Let's go with the opening line, because I like it. "A tall figure walked slowly down the sidewalk of Carnegie Lane. His steps were slow and his eyes unfocused, staring straight ahead without really seeing. A sheathed broadsword clinked against his side."

25. What is the worst line?
Too many and too boring to mention.

26. Have you dreamed about your novel/story or its characters?
The story came from a dream. I had dreamed I was standing inside a house with a bow in my hand and a sword at my side, surrounded by fellow warriors, all tense and dead silent, waiting. The front door burst open and an army of monstrous goblins poured in, and we warriors battled them. The heroic, unafraid, right-ness of the moment was unforgettable; and that scene sparked my story.

27. Does your novel rely heavily on allegory?
Nope.

28. Summarize your novel/story in under fifteen words.
Oh dear. *sighs* "A girl is kidnapped by warrior tribe fighting to survive annihilation by barbaric goblins."

29. Do you love all your characters?
Nah. Crei annoys me, but I sympathize with him.

30. Have you done something sadistic or cruel to your characters specifically to increase your word count?
Absolutely. Just recently I decided it would be great fun (and a plot bolster) to throw in a scene where a character is captured and tortured by sadistic goblins.

31. What was the last thing your main character ate?
*blinks* A piece of dry bread.

32. Describe your main character in three words.
Victim of circumstances. :|

33. What would your antagonist dress up as for Halloween?
o_O Seriously? You couldn't think of a better question than this? *weary sigh* My antagonist would find the concept of Halloween utterly stupid, and would idly flay anyone trying to explain it to him. Besides, he wouldn't fit into any costumes, anyway.

34. Does anyone in your story go to a place of worship?
*screws up face in thought* I'm considering it.

35. How many romantic relationships take place in your novel/story?
There is only one, and it does in no way consist of romantic talks under the stars. At the end of my book, two mature characters, who have been just friends throughout the war, will simply, happily, and quietly get married.

36. Are there any explosions in your novel/story?
*thinks hard* *brightens* YES! Dar Duneshark blows up the goblins in the basement! XD

37. Is there an apocalypse in your novel/story?
Nope.

38. Does your novel take place in a post-apocalyptic world?
No.

39. Are there zombies, vampires or werewolves in your novel/story?
>_> No. Those latter two, in particular, are far too reminiscent of a certain wildly popular teen novel which shall go unmentioned and which I would rather be eaten by wild mountain goats than emulate in my writing. There are, however, goblins and kamikaze mice. >_>

40. Are there witches, wizards or mythological creatures/figures in your novel/story?
No, not really.

41. Is anyone reincarnated?
No.

42. Is anyone physically ailed?
Oh yes.

43. Is anyone mentally ill?
Someone's going to be. Stress of war, and all that.

44. Does anyone have swine flu?
No. Silly question. >_>

45. Who has pets in your novel and what are they?
Do goblins with giant trained worms count?

46. Are there angels, demons, or any religious references/figures in your novel/story?
No.

47. How about political figures?
Not really.

48. Is there incessant drinking?
No.

49. Are there board games? If so, which ones?
NO!

50. Are there any dream sequences?
No. >_>

51. Is there humor?
I hope.

52. Is there tragedy?
YES!

53. Does anyone have a temper tantrum?
No... though my protagonist Heather does get rather crabby. She didn't like being shanghaied to another dimension.

54. How many characters end up single at the end of your novel/story?
Too many to count.

55. Is anyone in your novel/story adopted?
Maybe, but that's a secret. *glances furtively about*

56. Does anyone in your novel/story wear glasses?
No.

57. Has your novel/story provided insight about your life?
No. It's definitely been a place for me to vent plenty of my own musings and questions... it just hasn't answered any of them for me.

58. Your personality?
A bit.

59. Has your novel/story inspired anyone?
LOL, probably not. XD

60. How many people have asked to read your novel/story?
I never give them a chance to ask. My acquaintances know, in no uncertain terms, that - metaphorically speaking - my story is locked away in a subterranean vault a million miles below sea level, and it shall remain there until I am ready for the public to see it.

61. Have you drawn any of your characters?
Tried; failed. *hangs head in shame*

62. Has anyone drawn your characters for you?
*brightens* Leauphaun did, once. But that was for a different story...

63. Does anyone vomit in your novel/story?
I'm considering it.

64. Does anyone bleed in your novel/story?
I, quite literally, have notes scattered through my house saying things like, "Should I maim Tess?" and "Someone gets snakebite" and "More injuries. Let's lose some LIMBS."

Enough said.

65. Do any of your characters watch TV?
NO!

66. What size shoe does your main character wear?
I don't care and neither do you.

67. Do any of the characters in your novel/story use a computer?
No.

68. How would you react if your novel/story was erased entirely?
Run through the house screaming, go into mourning, hide under a pillow for a week, sprinkle ashes everywhere, not get on a computer for a month, and not try rewriting it for at least two years.

69. Did you cry at killing off any of your characters?
No... I cry for unusual reasons, and while some character's deaths might have affected me deeply, they haven't made me cry.

70. Did you cheer when killing off one of your characters?
Uh... no. I've never hated any of them that badly.

71. What advice would you give to a fellow writer?
If writing's just hard and blocks are everywhere and you are dejected about how things are going, take a break. Walk around. Read a book. Load the dishwasher. The subconscious works wonders on stories.

"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." - W. Somerset Maugham. The world abounds with advice and rules for authors, but ultimately, very few of them are true always, for every writer. Don't stress over remember and adhering to every writerly tip (word of wisdom: it's hopeless).

Famous writer Ernest Hemingway once said, "We are all apprentices in a craft where no one becomes a master." We're all still learning, and none of us will be perfect. Never alone, always hope, endurance and victory.

72. Describe your ending in three words.
"Heather goes home." There. Satisfied?? o_O

73. Are there any love triangles, squares, hexagons, etc.?
No. *shudders*

74. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being the least stressful, 10 being the most) how does your stress rank?
About my story, at this moment? I'll give the boring 5.

75. Was it worth it?
The tag? Maybe. It's helped me reevaluate my story. The story? Gack, I hope so.

- - -

I've already read Eldra and Jake's story tags and I'd be delighted to read any others'! If you've done the tag, please link me to it in a comment!